I come from a long line of busy
women. I have been brainwashed from an
early age to believe that if I am not constantly moving, then I am lazy. I have always volunteered for every project
that caught my fancy, not because I felt I had to, but because I loved it. So you can imagine how it feels to be “set aside.”
I am in my ninth year of Medical
Leave. At first we all anticipated I
would be off for six to eighteen months. But it didn’t work out that way. Complications arose, courses of medication
took longer than anticipated, and side effects led to organ damage. I’ve long since concluded that I probably won’t return to parish ministry
before retirement age. And that is
difficult.
So is fatigue, and pain. Now I don’t mean this to be a “whiny” or “why me” column, and I don’t think I’m trying to justify why I’m not as busy as I still
think I should be. I guess I’m trying to explain how hard
it is not to be able to do as much as I want to do. But I’m figuring out there’s a place for this.
Because I am forced to be less
active, I have learned to be a better listener.
When people ask if I have a minute, I can honestly answer I have an
hour. Because I have had to rest my
eyes, I have knit two charity sweaters - I don’t have to look closely at what I’m doing when I’m knitting, and I find the
action soothing. And, I can pray for the
eventual recipient of the sweater. An
added bonus is that the woman who gave me the pattern was a beloved member of
the church here in Eureka who recently returned home to God, and I think of her
as I knit, and I smile.
I have had time to enjoy the
wildlife feeder in my back yard, and to watch the juvenile squirrels as they
leap back and forth across the feeder trays and squabble with each other. There’s a rat living under our deck, and as we try to find a
humane way to convince him (or her) to move elsewhere, it’s fascinating to see how it
can slip into an impossibly small drainage hole in our deck.
Although we are in a drought, we
still have the morning fog which sustains our redwoods and most of our native
plants, and it is so peaceful to sit and admire them. I am grateful for this time to appreciate God’s handiwork. I confess that if I were on a “normal” schedule, I would be too
busy to notice these things, and far too busy to take up my knitting
needles.
I keep the Lord always
before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad,
and my soul rejoices;
my body also rests secure. Psalm 16:8-10
Prayer concerns:
• A new ministry launch in Cross, NC – a woman who has a disability
herself, and three children with disabilities, has been invited by her pastor
to start a disability ministry.
• All the Mission U disability courses that will be taught this
coming weekend and for the rest of the summer – for the leaders and participants, for open hearts and
transformational learning.
• A new Respite program for adults with dementia that is trying
to get off the ground and bring in more participants at a UM church in Fayetteville,
Georgia
• Final preparations and safe travel to Dallas for the upcoming
annual meetings for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Ministries Committee (July
23-26) and the DisAbility Ministries Committee (July 30 – August 2)
Dear Lord, What amazing ministries are springing up
around the country! We are so grateful
that hearts and minds are opening to your love, and all your children are
finding places in your kingdom. Help us
to learn to discern your calls to busyness and to rest, to learn to see and
appreciate all the beauty that surrounds us, and to find joy in whatever the
work is that you place before us. Amen.
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