I have been thinking this week about weakness, and how it might
be a blessing. When I was hit with my
latest diagnosis I was depressed. And of
course I was tired, and in pain. But
then I realized that these things might be a blessing. This was a chance to re-order my life.
Like many of us in the caring community, I find it hard to say
no. Consequently, I found myself
committed to things I wasn't really enjoying, but felt I had to do because
someone asked me. But I didn't have the
energy to do them, and they weren't feeding my soul. Now I had a good reason to let them go. It used to be I could do two things on a good
day; now it seems I can do only one. And
if it isn't something that makes me feel my time was well spent, that isn't
something I need to do.
I am still tutoring children two mornings a week at our local K-3
school. No matter how bad I feel, they
cheer me up. And it’s amazing to see how
15-30 minutes one-on-one with a child can make such a huge difference in his or
her reading and math skills.
I sew quilts for charity because I am always happy at the sewing
machine, or with a needle and thread and fabric in my hands. And I just finished making Christmas
stockings for a foster children’s project.
These things bring me joy. But I didn't
enjoy serving on the board of the quilt guild, and evening meetings were nearly
impossible for me. It was a no-brainer
to let that go.
The service club that my husband and I belonged to in Bishop was
great. We did lots of hands-on local
projects, as well as supporting international projects. The club here just isn't the same. We haven’t forged the same friendships, and
service seems to be expressed by writing checks rather than getting your hands
dirty. I've let them know I won’t be
renewing my dues next quarter, although my husband will remain a member. It was a cordial break-up, and I will be a
welcome guest at their meetings, but I’m no longer obligated to be there.
The one difficult thing to give up was an international emergency
shelter organization for whom I speak as a fundraiser. But none of the service clubs in this area
seem willing to hear their message, so I haven’t been very effective
lately. The organization accepted my
resignation as an Ambassador, but is retaining me as a Liaison. They also sent me messages of support.
My decision to cut down on my activities has given me more peace
and more time for the things that please me - church, children, my home. It hasn't made me stronger physically yet,
but I believe I am on the road to a stronger spirit. And it made me wonder why it took a health
crisis for me to make this decision to set my priorities in order. If I didn't enjoy doing things, and I wasn't
effective, why was I doing them?
And perhaps that’s something we can all stop and consider. Is ineffective help better than no help at
all? Let us dedicate ourselves to the
things we believe God calls us to do, and give our heart to those causes.
All who cleanse
themselves of the things I have mentioned will become special utensils,
dedicated and useful to the owner of the house, ready for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:21
Prayer requests this week:
• a church that needs hearts opened for accessibility. They need a ramp
and right now the leadership isn't open to that option. There is a member
striving for this accessibility who will value knowing that she is supported by
all of us.
Dear Lord, Thank you for reminding us of what is truly
important. Help us to recall that there
is strength in numbers, and that we do not have to do it all on our own. Help us remember that there is tremendous
power in prayer, and that your word not only created this world, but can change
it as well. Move hearts and minds this
week, and open doors in every sense of the word. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.